okay, okay...i know. i haven't been writing in a really long time. now i am and it's cuz things are bugging me again. i can't do anything good enough ever and i hate it. i try real hard at work and it seems like i can't do anything else. i hate it. i hate that i don't do much else and i feel lazy and angry. i feel fat and lazy. i know no one wants to be around me when i'm all angry. my bestest friend is leaving me and it's not fair! it's not fair!!!!! it doesn't matter how many times i say it, it's not gonna change. one bestest friend already left and now another. and the worst part is that neither of them even want to! i haven't been running. i only do a little yoga. i don't go to the gym. i'm tired of worrying about money. i feel like i'm no good. not worth really being around. i made my boyfriend mad and then my sister yelled at me. i just want to be away from me so badly. i want to go to sleep for around a week. maybe i'll feel okay again. but then maybe not cuz i'll still have to be with me.